the reason behind the blog

now, I'm not here to bitch about my love lofe per-say. lol because I love my man and am very happy, but I just thought this might be a good spot for people to share the WTF experiences of their dating trials and errors. feel free to comment here to share your experiences, I will share just one of my horror stories to maybe get the ball rolling here, and I'll start with one of the milder ones. lol maybe if I see the kind of reaction this one brings, I may share more. but for now I will stick to the one experience.

We will call him hank for now. and yes, the red-neck name was intentional. anyway, I moved to NY for hank. now I'm calling him hank because he looked like the borderline migit version of what hank williams JR (any country fans in the house?lol) would look like if he were pratically a midgit. lol. Now this guy had a major nepolean complex. Now I'm short too. VERY short actually, but I am ok with it. infact it has it's uses, but that is for another blog. lol. But this guy seemed like he always had to prove what a testosterone driven freak he was. (this guy would actually throw tantrums like a 2 year old complete with holding his breath and stoping up and down in a fit)Always walking around the room with his chest puffed out in an attempt to hide the fact that his gut hangs out over his belt. He was insanely insecure and felt the need to plant a sloppy one on me when ever a guy even so much as looked in my direction. (pathetic...right girls?) so I actually put up with that crap for a year and I made him move to NH with me and then he got so unbelievably inconsiderate and inpossible to deal with that I had to leave him there. he begged and pleaded with me to take him back one day when I went to go hang out with one of my friends. (somehow he tracked me down I still think he had to have been stalking me) but he did this right in front of my friends thinking that I wouldn't act like a bitch in front of them, but he was wrong! I have no sympathy for a 40+ year old man who can not act like an adult. the man will never grow up. now, I know i"m not the easiest person to get along with, is anyone really in the scheme of things? I personally believe that it is all in how we learn to deal with the subtle differences in personality that make or break a relationship. I personally seem to suck at this process, either that or I just keep picking men that lack in this ability, after a while it kind of gets hard to tell. lmao. I like to believe that I can have an arguement without acting like a child or lashing out at the person I love. and with the relationship I am in now, I can do that. he pisses me off, don't get me wrong. we have our issues, but all in all, (despite the fact he doesn't think so) I believe it isn't anything that can't be fixed in time. anyway, I guess my story really is about how some men just don't seem to know when to grow up and act like a man. The whole relationship I felt like I had to be the strong one, and my whole life I had to be strong, so I guess I just took the role because it was what I knew. with the relationship I have now, I can finally let someone ELSE be the strong one, and I think I went a bit overboard with my new found freedom, and allowed myself to become lazy. lol. yes, I admit it, I'm a lazy woman. at least lately I have been really bad. and my bf (despite the fact he harps on me about it all the time like a freaking NAG) I love him for bearing with me this long. I know I have not been easy to live with lately. But I am in the middle of a re-birth shall we say for lack of a better term. Evolving I think. My brain has been slowly rewireing itself one cell at a time. lol. and he may not think all the badgering is getting through to me, but it is. and I hope someday he stumbles upon this and remembers how he thought I would never break out of the slump, & we may share a good laugh about it later. I think in this case sweetie, you're better off betting on the long shot. But anyway, here is my heart and my experience. may you learn something from it. lol. because as love sometimes is, I sometimes wonder if I ever did. lol.